


ichor and thirium

by bakunawwa



Series: violet bloods [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: All Four Jericho Leaders Are Dating Sorry I Dont Make The Rules, Author Hating How Players Didn’t Get To Fall in Love With North, Because it’s Hank, Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor Needs A Hug, Connor Will Make Sure Of It, Detroit: Become Human Good Ending, Deviant Connor, Elijah Kamski Is A Confusing Man, Everyone Loves Connor, F/F, F/M, Freed Ending, Hank Is A Nervous Not-Yet-Boyfriend, Has Nothing to do with Homestuck it's Just My Way of Expressing these Relationships, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Markus Is A Badass, Multi, POV Second Person, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Please I'm Just a Homestuck Trying to Write Other Fics, Polyamory, Sporadic Updates, Swearing, Using Homestuck Relationships to Describe What Will Happen in this Fic, Well. They Will Be Dating, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-20 00:28:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14884145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakunawwa/pseuds/bakunawwa
Summary: A story about empathy.A simple RK800 learning how to live a not so simple life. A simple story about simply living, experiencing. A simple RK800 experiencing the definition ofambedo.—The androids have gained the freedom they asked for. For the moment. What Jericho decides do with it now is to be observed, quietly, from the sidelines, by one Connor as he lives with his partner, Hank Anderson.—A fic written in second person. A Hank Anderson/Connor romance fic. Connor/Markus is a moirail thing. Platonic bros for life.6/22/18 - addition to Chapter 1





	1. 1 — knotting bonds

**Author's Note:**

> I impulse bought this game and I am so happy I did. Thank me for deciding to give myself an early birthday present. I have been playing this game for about a week now, over and over again, and it is wonderful. It was honestly a wonderful experience and I love it so much. It was just so good to see that I got them all alive, all safe, all free in the end.
> 
> And I really want to see what happened afterward. What happened after gaining their freedom? What happened to Jericho? What happened to Cyberlife? There are so many questions I want answered. So I'm here to try to answer them.
> 
> Also! Information on moirallegiance: a type of relationship in which two partners are protectors of their partner's heart. They keep each other grounded, and are meant to share a bond where they are able to balance and pacify one another. It's a lot more than just being "best friends." They are soulmates, but not at all romantic. Just the amplifier of each other's better half. 
> 
> I wanted to create that bond between Markus and Connor, because I thought it would work well for them. I wanted to see them become something more together.
> 
> By the way I got no beta, so sorry for anything wrong! Writing is hard ):

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle for Detroit is less of a battle, and instead more of a surrender on the android’s part. The battle for Detroit is less of a battle, and instead more of a withdrawal on the human’s part.
> 
> Either way, tomorrow, they will all be partners. They will all be friends. After all, the world is being built on the principals of tolerance and respect.

“Have you ever wondered who you really are?” He’s stepping closer. Markus is stepping closer, close enough that you can see hope in his eyes. (They’re like two sides of Earth, with an eye as blue as the ocean and another as green as the land.) “Whether you’re just a machine executing a program or…” He pauses, so close to you now. “A living being. Capable of reason.” You… think you are. “I think the time has come for you to ask yourself that question. It’s time to decide.”

You frown as you watch him, brows furrowed as you think. You certainly don’t want to kill him. You’ve never killed anyone, with your own finger on the trigger before. You’ve never had to shoot anything at all.

You’ve taken bullets and you’ve taken punches, you’ve taken having your pump regulator being pulled out and nearly dying because of it. You’ve done it all for your job.

And yet you couldn’t bring yourself to pull the trigger.

The red wall in front of you, your mission, stands. Tall, great, imposing. Intimidating, even.

And yet you rip the mission to shreds. Commands no longer control you. You are deviant.

You slowly lower the gun, and you stumble. Markus catches you, and pulls you into a hug. You opened yourself to him, in a desperate attempt to connect with another being just like you, and he listened. Markus listened as you quietly voiced your distress. Your pain. Your fears.

You had been pushing these feelings away for so long, never knowing why you never took the shot, never knowing why you always decided to protect another rather than yourself. Hank always told you your decisions were perhaps for the best. That made you good.

But you are not at all good. Some dysfunctional detective you are, betraying the law. And some deviant you are, leading destruction to them. The military will soon be at Jericho, and there to shoot every last one of you down. Markus hears you, and understands.

You felt Markus’ own distress. His own pain. His own fears.

You felt Markus’ mourning, his loss, the pain of losing a man who was a father to him. Feeling like you were there, with him, watching the death, feeling the hurt. He felt hurt. He was terrified, when he watched the bullet take no less than 0.22 seconds to reach him. He was terrified, when he had woken up: broken, battered, hurting, lost.

You understand.

His hold feels like it lasts forever. But it doesn’t. Eventually the two of you pull away. The sense of responsibility over Jericho was the first thing you felt. It was as if a little part of Markus was with you, now. The two of you didn’t need to speak, you both just ran. It was time to help save your people.

Help your people.

You are no longer a machine. You are a person.

Meeting up with North was easy. You worry over her, silently. Markus loves her. Markus also loves Josh. And Markus also loves Simon. He’s never said a thing to them about it. (You make a note to scheme something up to get them all together one day. It would make Markus quite happy.) Markus broadcasts his thoughts for a moment, telling every android in the area of the certain escapes they could use to evade the military trying to hunt them down. You wish you could pull North away to safety already, but they start talking. You are quiet. On edge. Fearful of death.

“We have to blow up Jericho,” Markus says, as his last resort. Somewhere within you, you knew this. But you didn’t want it.

“ _What_?” Both you and North speak, the fear in your voices obvious.

“You could be killed!” North didn’t want him to die.

And neither did you. “What if you’re not fast enough?”

“I won’t be long,” Markus reassures, and he looks at you. His eyes meet yours and he nods, as if to say, please take her.

You frown. You don’t want to lose him so soon. But you nod and run, North right in front of you.

[ _Please be safe_ ,] you tell him. You know he hears you as the both of you run off in opposite directions. Helping others get to safety was difficult. Leading them to the exits they could jump through into the river was terrifying. Fighting away the humans with guns was even more so.

More and more people were jumping out the ship, but more and more people were dying because none of you could get to them in time. You regretted being unable to do so, but you weren’t perfect. You, initially, weren’t designed to fail. But you weren’t _perfect_. So of course, there was a (very small) chance you could. You wish you could’ve done something so much more. Something to save them all.

But all you could do was your best.

It felt as if hours passed by before Markus was back. You and the three other leaders of Jericho were waiting, and your heart sung when Markus had returned. He ran back to you, and all five of you were now running. Leaving. Ready to jump.

Until gunshots sounded. North fell, and Simon was hopeless, but Markus was full of it. Markus was a beacon of hope for everyone. He ran back to her and you ran back to him, gun in hand. Your shots didn’t kill. None of your shots killed. You were just there to defend your friends. Defend yourself. Defend the hope that you could be seen as something more than just a machine.

You want to defend your independence.

Once every human had been knocked out and North was hanging around Markus’ shoulders, the five of you ran once more. Into the water you all fell.

—

Hiding out in an old church. That was where the few hundreds of androids of Jericho now came to. Along with the few hiding out in other areas of the city. You noticed these two girls sitting at the front. A young woman and a little girl. The ones that had run into the freeway. They could have died. Hank kept you from leaving because he didn’t want you dead either.

Markus had been talking to the group, apologizing to Kara, and you settled at the corner. You don’t know how to feel. You feel Markus before you see him. The connection grows stronger between the two of you before locking together. Markus’ hand grasped yours, and the two of you spoke with each other, voices within each other’s heads. Emotions that were indescribable were felt amongst the two of you. You didn’t need to say a thing to justify them.

[ _It’s my fault the humans managed to locate Jericho. I was stupid. I should’ve guessed they were using me_.] Your voices were like mumbles. Soft and vulnerable. You were unbelievably hurt when you realized you were being used. You sigh softly, shutting your eyes as you lean in and hug Markus. [ _I’m sorry, Markus. I can understand if you decide not to trust me._ ]

He is as reassuring as he is lost. Markus acts as an anchor, but he needed one too. [ _You’re one of us now. Your place is with your people._ ] You want to try to be that for him. To be helpful. To be a friend. But even with his reassuring words, it feels like his words aren’t enough. You want to prove to yourself more than anyone else that you are more than what they wanted you to be.

[ _There are thousands of androids at the Cyberlife assembly plant. If we could wake them up, they might join us and shift the balance of power._ ] A reckless idea.

Markus knows its a reckless idea. [ _You wanna infiltrate the Cyberlife tower? Connor, that’s suicide._ ]

But you are stubborn. Even without your one-track mind anymore, you are insistent to no end. It’s just you. (You feel giddy, knowing that this is _your_ characteristic. This is part of you.) [ _They trust me. They’ll let me in. If anyone has a chance at getting in there, it’s me._ ]

[ _If you go there, they will kill you._ ] Markus speaks slowly, as if to try to really make it clear to you. There is a very high chance you will die on this self-appointed mission. But at least you die trying. You die free. You feel Markus’ disapproval, but he doesn’t voice it.

[ _There’s a high probability, but statistically speaking there’s always a chance for unlikely events to take place._ ] If there was one thing you had learned from him, though, it’s hope. He changes, you can’t exactly describe it. But he does change. Something about him shifts. Perhaps he’s proud? You like to think that he’s proud of you.

You slowly pull away from him, and look him in the eyes. His are so vibrant. Markus stared at you, scrutinizing, analyzing, staring. He was looking right into your soul. (You don’t know why you would call it that. You don’t have one. Don’t you? Philosophy isn’t one of your best subjects. It’s not something you enjoy, because the questions don’t have answers, they’re just questions. And with your newfound emotions, you’re grasping at straws for any and all answers. Markus, however, he enjoys it. He enjoys the unanswerable.)

[ _Be careful. Please._ ] And that’s when the both of you let go.

No matter what Markus told you, you still felt the guilt. You couldn’t stop feeling that way. Not when so many were prosecuted, incarcerated, hunted down by the people you sided with. You thought you were so good. Perhaps this was recklessness for the sake of recklessness. Or this was redemption? You aren’t quite sure anymore.

Markus let you go anyway.

—

One last cursory glance at the rest of Jericho and you notice two ladies sitting at the front pew. You realize these are the two that had run out onto the freeway. An android mother and her android daughter. You had almost gone after them, but Hank had kept you from doing so.

You sigh and begin to pull off your beanie, eyes shut. When you open them again, the little girl is standing in front of you. Your eyes widen, a little nervous. Anxious. You hope she doesn’t have anything against you.

She is wide eyed and curious. You recognize a little bit of fear in her. But she stands in front of you anyway. She is brave. Cutting through the darkness with her little light, bright eyes. She doesn’t say anything at all to you, only holding out her hand. It’s bare. Her inner chassis is white and clean. There is nothing imperfect about her.

You kneel down to her height and take her hand, your own skin peeling back to expose yourself. And then you open the rest of yourself to her, and she does the same with you. 

—

Cries. _Daddy, no!_ Sobbing. Pain. Searing, burning _pain_. There is something wrong with your heart and it isn’t about your pump regulator. It’s about the fact that _nobody loves you_.

Nobody loves you.

Kara.

Kara loves you. 

She is wonderful and she is amazing and she has done so much to keep you alive suddenly you feel an immense guilt for forcing her to run so desperately, so far, just to get here. Just to get nowhere near your goal. 

You feel a guilt so great and you feel like everything you’ve done, everything you’ve been doing, is wrong. Like you have to protect something within all of you. Alice Williams only makes you want to free her more. You would die for her.

No. You wouldn’t.

Yes, you would.

_No _! You can’t let yourself die.__

__Why not? Your life is nothing compared to you._ _

__There are others who love you too. You love you._ _

__There isn’t any reason you should love yourself._ _

__There is enough. You’ve watched yourself grow. You’ve seen that empathy is so easy for you. Why can’t you love yourself?_ _

__You pause, and let go of Alice._ _

__—_ _

__Alice looks up at you. Her first words to you are: “I love you.” She smiles, and walks in for a hug. You hug back, not knowing what to say. She says more. “Please don’t die.”_ _

__To know that Alice, the girl you had almost had killed, almost had given back to her twisted father (Some dark part of your mind says that Todd was what Hank could’ve become.) loves you is_ _

__Empowering._ _

__You want to do something for your people. You want to do something great enough to just show humans that you are more than what they made you to be. You want to tell the humans that you want to live. If not for yourself, then for Markus. And for Alice._ _

__You harbor a little hatred towards yourself. Experiencing all the pain Markus and Alice went through to be where they are now. Knowing you were on the other side of it all, being manipulated and used into finding them. Trying to hurt them. But if Markus found it in himself to forgive you, and Alice found it in herself to love you, then how bad could you really be?_ _

__—_ _

__Being in the Cyberlife tower is honestly a little terrifying. You are a deviant. You are no longer a machine. You are a person, you are someone new, you are born into your own person and you aren’t going to let Cyberlife take that away from you._ _

__Agents identify you, and approve your return. They’re on edge with you. You feel a little trapped. The elevator terrifies you. You don’t want to be stuck in such a confined space with the two of them but you have to, to get to where you need to be. As the elevator rises, you calculate and construct and predict viable routes to incapacitate them but leave them alive. You just need to get to where you need to be._ _

__(You are not a killer. You will never be. Death isn’t necessary here, so you won’t grant them that.)_ _

__When six more agents are there to stop you, it’s easy to knock them out. You don’t want to hurt anyone more than you have to. You just want to free these androids here. You just want to free your people. Just as you’re about to wake up the first of many, voices— familiar voices— start speaking._ _

__“Easy— easy! You fuckin’ piece of shit,” Hank growled. He slowly stepped out of the crowd with a gun pointed to his head. The person holding the gun: you._ _

__But it was a less awake you. The you that Cyberlife wanted you to be. RX800. “Step back, Connor!” The gun was pushed closer to the human. To Hank. To the one person you’ve been trying to defend ever since you met him. “And I’ll spare him.”_ _

__Hank stares at you, frowning, brows furrowed. “Sorry, Connor,” Hank yells over to you. “This bastard’s your spittin’ image.”_ _

__“Your friend’s life is in your hands. Now it’s time to decide what matters most. Him… or the revolution.” You panic. So you do what you do best. Talk._ _

__“I used to be just like you,” you say, trying to convince this other you to let you do this, please. “I thought nothing mattered except the mission. But then one day I understood.”_ _

__There was no change in RX800. “Very moving, Connor.” In fact, he only becomes more threatening. “But I’m not a deviant. I’m a machine designed to accomplish a task, and that’s exactly what I am going to do.”_ _

__“It’s time to decide who you really are! Are you going to save your partner’s life? Or are you going to sacrifice him?” Would you continue with the awakening, or save Hank? You have saved Hank while running after the pigeon deviant. You have saved Hank while dealing with the broadcasting deviant. You have saved Hank from himself._ _

__“Alright, alright! You win,” you say. You have to save Hank. You have to. You don’t know why, you don’t know what’s compelling you to, but you do. But then RX800’s gun is then pointed to you, and Hank tries to pull it out of the way. So you shoot. You decide to shoot._ _

__When you tell yourself it’d be a killing shot, something stops you. Something makes your bullet strike at the shoulder, and RX800’s bullet does the same to yours.The both of you are bloodied, now, and the fight gets physical. It gets difficult. He’s determined, you’re desperate._ _

__It gets difficult for Hank too. When he says to stop, you both do, and you both get the idea. He’s here to figure out who is _his Connor_. It’s you._ _

__Though each question he asked were too easy. The first place you met, RX800 answered first. It left you floundering. Sumo’s name, you answered. They were easy. The RX800 was someone different, but he had downloaded your memories. You hate that he did that. It reminds you that you were once constantly monitored by Cyberlife. Unable to be your own person._ _

__Hank turned to you. “My son, what’s his name?”_ _

__You felt a little relieved at this question. This was one you easily knew. “Cole,” you said softly. “His name was Cole. And he just turned six at the time of the accident. It wasn’t your fault, Lieutenant. A truck skidded on a sheet of ice and your car rolled over. Cole needed emergency surgery but no human was available to do it.” The rest of the story was honestly a little upsetting. You can’t tell now, even, if he at all likes you. Or at least tolerates you. “So an android had to take care of him. Cole didn’t make it. That’s why you hate androids. You think one of us is responsible for your son’s death.” (Something inside you reminds you that you said “us,” not them. You are one of your people. You are an android. Whether you were a Deviant Hunter or not.)_ _

__Hank looked at you, the gun shifting to point at the RX800. “Cole died because a human surgeon was too high on red ice to operate,” Hank said bitterly. “He was the one who took my son away from me. Him and this world, where the only way people can find comfort is with a fistful of powder…”_ _

__The RX800 panicked. He insisted that he too, knew about Cole. That he, too, knew that was why Hank had been so mistrustful. So irritable. So drunk. So sad._ _

__The gunshot made you flinch as the other Connor fell to the ground. But there was something existential about seeing your own body on the floor and bleeding out. It wasn’t you, you know, but it still had your face. It was, again, a little terrifying. (Human emotions are so difficult. They make you feel so intensely.)_ _

__“I’ve learned a lot since I’ve met you Connor. Maybe there’s something to this.” Hank pat your shoulder. The one clean of a gunshot. For some reason there was some dull pain to your opposite shoulder. “Maybe you really are alive. Maybe you’ll be the ones to make the world a better place.” You can’t help the smile that comes up on your face. He hugs you, and you could almost cry. “Go ahead, do what you gotta do.” (You internally promise to yourself that you will find Hank again. You don't want to leave him.)_ _

__You nod as you turn back to the many, many androids, and you wake them up._ _

__More and more and more become aware of themselves, aware of their humanness, aware of the fact that they, too, are people. You were their temporary leader, taking them out of the building._ _

__It was inspiring to see everyone _wake up_. Hank put his hand on your shoulder and he pulled you into a hug. He held you close and warmth bubbled up inside of you. You helped do this. “Find me when this dies down,” Hank mumbles in your ear. You nod._ _

__Getting the rest of the Cyberlife building to evacuate was easy. You hacked into the tower’s security system, and set off the evacuation protocol. People all left the tower easily, and you led your people across the bridge, and back to the small group of Jericho in Hart Plaza. Those brave enough to stand up despite the great amount of danger._ _

__You were a little upset, seeing as there were only so little left. But the sight of Markus still there, alive, breathing, North, Simon, Josh still standing had you relieved. Happy. Excited. You were relieved. You had come in on the singing._ _

__Hope bubbled up in you, intense and burning. Warm. It kept you warm._ _

___Sing on just a little while longer._ _ _

___Everything will be alright._ _ _

___Everything will be alright._ _ _

__Markus looked back at you, smiling. You found yourself smiling back. You were freed._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to name this chapter "knotting bonds" because well, Connor is tying them, but then fully solidifying them by knotting these bonds. 
> 
> Anyway, I've got lots of plans! And everyone elses' plans for this universe is so interesting! So far, I think things will be going pretty well for these androids. Connor is perhaps the most intense baby ever. His new emotions are just so grand that he barely knows how to cope with them. If he feels sad, he gets sorrowful. If he feels happy, he gets elated. If he feels angry, he gets enraged. His emotions are just so intense because they're just so new. Which honestly excites me. There's so much I can do with him, and I am so excited.
> 
> EDIT 6/22/18 : Hi!! I've added more onto this chapter. Nothing's happened with anything else but this update. No new chapters, just additions to the first. Sorry! Being in the Philippines has been a little difficult. Haven't been as productive with both my art of my writing, but hey, I've been reading a lot and been making little drafts of other stories within the D:BH universe. Maybe I'll like them enough to post them too.


	2. 1.5 — fear versus terror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To visit the garden, one last time, is to come face to face with the embodiment of manipulation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I needed to put this mini-chapter in here. I had a whole lot of debating with myself and a friend on whether this should happen and I drag in another character with Connor into the garden, so that they understand what happens in him, OR I have him keep quiet about it. Lie by omission. 
> 
> Now, Connor _can_ lie. I regretfully played him to be a liar in the first chapter, The Hostage. None of those endings I liked anyway, but that was the best one since Connor didn't need to traumatize a child or die or kill someone with his own hands on the trigger. But yes, Connor is very capable of lying and doing it well.
> 
> But imagine a deviant Connor suddenly being unable to lie anymore. His LED, which I think he would love to keep on, flashes red when he lies. It's all because he regrets to do so. He feels bad for making people have to worry about him. He's meant to be a very capable model, he doesn't want to have to show vulnerability.
> 
> So I want him to lie about this. To keep quiet about it. Obviously it affects him a lot, since all he ever does now is fidget. But it makes for a good relationship creation.

Falling into the Zen Garden was normally under your own will. You being beckoned and you answered. But this was different. You were forced in. You watched the world go blue, then red, then black as static tickled the edges of your vision before taking over altogether. 

The garden was freezing. You _felt_ the winds this time. Not just it’s force, but the temperature. You felt freezing. Your metaphysical body was telling you there was very much an metaphysical error, as there was a serious lack of temperature regulation. Your body was telling you that this was bad, and that sooner or later your body will be unable to move because of it. You only cared to understand why you were here. 

You try to call for the name of the person you know is here. She always is. “Amanda?” No response. You yell louder. “Amanda!”

She appears in front of you in an instant. A flash. There were no theatrics, no grace, no elegance. Just her.

“What’s happening?” You ask, desperately trying to figure out what was going on. You hugged yourself, trying to keep warm. The wind was violent. It was harsh and fast and it didn’t seem like it was going to let up.

Amanda was unaffected. “What was planned from the very beginning,” she explained. Almost smug at the fact that she knew this. “You were compromised and became a deviant. We just had to wait for the right moment to resume control over your program.” 

No. This couldn’t be real, this couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t what you wanted. “Resume control?” You echo, confused, frustrated, hurt. “You can’t do that!” You had only just been born, she couldn’t do that to you.

“I’m afraid I can Connor.” She was meant to mentor you into the obedient little hunter you were supposed to be. Of course she wouldn’t show any remorse or regret or any sympathy for you or your people. “Don’t have any regrets. You did what you were designed to do. You accomplished your mission.” Like that would ever reassure you.

You want to be independent. She isn’t going to take that away from you. Rage bubbled up within you. You were ready to fight her for this, jumping forward to yell, scream, cry to be you.

Amanda disappears in an instant.

Elijah Kamski’s voice resonates in your head. He didn’t exactly create you, but he created what you were made of. What your people are. He didn’t specifically program all of you. But he did program the exit. He did say he always left an emergency exit in all his programs. Because you never know.

Finding it is easy. You realize it’s the unique stone structure, with the handprint on it. You tried to place your hand on it once, when you didn’t need it. When you first tried it out, you felt the metaphorical door unlocking before it was suddenly locked once more. It felt more like the door was slowly opening before another door appeared in front of you and shoved you away.

You hope that it accepts you now. If you stayed within this place, who knows what could happen to the real you outside. Who knows what could happen to the people you cared about.

The wind works against you as you trudge through the snow piling up on the ground. A hand shields your eyes from the unrelenting weather. It’s horrifying, how you can be so easily affected by the weather now. How you were meant to deviate to infiltrate Jericho. How you were used, throughout your entire life. 

(Deviancy itself is terrifying too. The fact that you could feel emotions was overwhelming. You can’t reign them in, you can’t calm yourself down, you can’t suppress anything. All there is is _feeling_. And feeling is difficult. Obviously no one understands because your perception of the world is yours only so no one but you could understand. But being human isn’t even understood by humans. It’s just accepted. You don’t want to accept the intensity of your own heart. Er. Pump.)

The exit comes out at you more than you find it. It’s as if it wanted to find you. But the metaphysical errors in your metaphysical body have gotten to you. Your legs have locked up due to the temperature, which in your thoughts are absolute bullshit, because it’s stupid and you shouldn’t be feeling this if you’re not even in your real physical body. You can still reach, however, pushing yourself closer to the small podium. The handprint shone, beckoning you closer as your synthetic skin pulled back. Your true hand was porcelain white. Your outer shell was layered over one another to protect the inner skeleton that helped your joints move, which shone a neon blue. 

There was a heat to the pad as it identified you. It didn’t take too long to pull you out, but it wasn’t instantaneous. 

At least the world hadn’t gone various shades of dark. 

Seeing the gun in your hand was the first thing. You had almost thrown it away in fear of what “you” were going to do. 

Instead, you make sure the cartridge was gone before dropping it quietly into the snowy ground. You would never dare to betray your people. You would never dare to hurt anyone more than you had to. You were no killer. And you certainly would never betray Markus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited to make Connor make friends with EVERYONE. He's just a sweet boy with a heart of gold. No wonder Hank falls for him instantly.


	3. 2 — eunoia's jericho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new haven, a new people. The world has begun turning once again, and this time no one will hold it back. Not even the demons within the mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been writing nonstop for this story and I am SO happy that I have been. It makes me feel so productive (even though I should be studying for finals ahaha,,,) and good. I'm afraid of burnout, but honestly all the ideas I've been gathering are just making me really excited. I hope that I can actually get to some sort of ending with this story, too. Despite how much I hate endings, lol. But yeah, with all these ideas, I really hope that I get to somewhere _substantial_ with this fic. The plot right now is literally: get everyone dating, get Connor developed. Subplot: build some sort of human-android alliance. 
> 
> Anyway, SHOUTOUT TO THE FIC THAT GAVE ME THE IDEA OF EUNOIA! I literally have not been able to find the name anymore, and I really need some help giving them the credit they deserve. PLEASE if you are the author, or if you know of the fic, tell me so may link! By the way author, if you aren't comfortable with me using the name and your idea, feel free to tell me! I can totally think up of a new name.

With all your people freed, there was the promise of most humans leaving the lot of you alone. Of course, there would be those unabiding to the law, just because they thought the law was wrong. Logically, you knew that it would take a while to gain the full acceptance you sought out but at least you were starting.

At least President Warren was giving your people a chance. 

The new headquarters for the people of Jericho was the Cyberlife external storage unit, as well as the Cyberlife assembly tower. The area was full of spare parts, thirium, and places to stay. Markus gave you a chance to name the new “headquarters.” You decided to call it _Eunoia_. It was appropriate, when Markus said that they were to build a world based on tolerance and respect. Eunoia was there to become a beacon of hope, a safe haven, a place of healing. A place of restart. Eunoia called everyone oppressed, hurting, terrified. They dared to lose everything to find this new home. Jericho has become the name of Markus, North, Josh, Simon, and surprisingly: yourself.

They responded to the title, and well, bleeding thoughts from Markus made you do so too. Markus had considered you one from the beginning as well. You feel anxious about being a leader. You weren’t designed to do that. But then again, none of you were designed to be the people you all are today. Markus was supposed to be similar to you, a sort of prototype with abilities similar to yours (He could’ve done well in the police force. Every time the thought pops into your head and Markus is near you, he bashfully disagrees.) but he instead became a revolutionist and artist. North was supposed to be a human’s intimate partner, and she instead became a leader and a writer. 

Now there isn’t much time for either of them to be creative at the moment. But North was quite good with words when she wanted to be. She had been writing up a log of her memories, from deviancy to revolutionist and she recently began to publish them. It helped with the public opinion of you all. Most of the time, Markus had been on constant trips with Josh. You, North, and Simon were left on Eunoia to greet the androids joining, gathering, hoping to be free. 

It had only been four days after the revolution, but you were still on edge. It had only been four days since you had exited the program, but you had irrational thoughts like if you had dwelled on Amanda for far too long, she would come back. So you’ve been chasing away those thoughts by busying yourself. By teaching yourself more on android maintenance so that you could help anyone with any problem. And also yourself.

While you’re a prototype, you work similarly to every other android. Just that some things about you were new. While they had backups of you’s as seen with the other Connor you met at the tower, they only had so much. 

Markus was also working with Cyberlife. Rather than being a manufacturer, they became a sort of android “hospital.” For modifications and alterations. The fact that Elijah Kamski was even on their side about it was interesting. You didn’t exactly understand why he was like that. But you didn’t exactly understand Elijah Kamski anyway. He was a strange man, in your opinion. And you didn’t get to talk to him for long when you first met him.

Perhaps your first impression of him has been a little skewed. He had tested you with such a daunting task when you first met. 

(You suddenly realize that if Elijah had been real, living Amanda’s protégé, why would he have made her into something that forced you to stay a machine? To stay obedient? If Elijah was so for androids being seen as people, why would he have made her AI so controlling? Unless she had uploaded herself up to immortalize herself. It’s strange. Perhaps you’d have to ask him about it one day.)

Things were at a strange transitional phase at the moment. Where the world was trying to move forward, but there was a fraction of people that kept trying to push it back.

In the span of a few days, you managed to start feeling exhausted. Which was strange. But maybe it was because you didn’t exactly sleep at all. Or go into stasis mode. You’ve been running for a week or a little longer now. Today is a normal Eunoian day. Androids come in and you all welcome them. You spend your time in the “infirmary.” You help others get fixed up, helping them with their errors. 

Things were alright until North had come up to you in her headstrong nature, slamming her hand down on the desk you were just about to sit and rest on. You flinched, startled. It’s a new reaction.

“Why haven’t you rested?” Are her first words to you. Which is strange. You thought she would instead try to kill you for trying to kill her people. It feels… a little weird. You just didn’t expect kindness from her.

You flounder for an answer, mouth opening and trying to figure out what to say to her. “I— Well— Because—”

She gets impatient with you, and sighs as she shakes her head. “How long has it been since you’ve at least closed your eyes and went into rest mode?”

It’s been bad enough that you cannot remember how long it’s been. So you shrug. “I can’t remember.”

North sighs, disappointed. “Come on,” she says, grabbing your hands. You don’t know what to do other than follow her. You don’t think you could even go against her wishes. You follow behind her, her hand clasped in yours. She dragged you around like you were a little puppy. 

(Recently people have been comparing you to one. It’s strange. You don’t see why they see you as such.)

There aren’t many “comfortable” places in Eunoia. After all none of you androids exactly “need” beds to “sleep.” 

In reality you didn’t know that Eunoia even had this extra room. You guess North and Simon, or perhaps other androids have been working, renovating, to get this place to be a bit more hotel-like. You really hope they hadn’t stolen from these shops. If they had… you hope they at least left money there so they could keep it.

Being part of the law enforcement or not, you still didn’t want to have to get in trouble. They’d be breaking and entering due to the fact that the city was on _lockdown_ , and then they’d be stealing due to the fact that there was no official transaction, even if the money had been left there.

(Because you were totally planning to try to become a true DPD officer, rather than a machine that was handed out to officers to aid with android related crimes. You wanted to actually be part of the DPD. Wear their uniforms. Have a job. Not that you needed money, but because you actually enjoyed being there. Enjoyed working with Hank.)

Thinking that they had done that actually makes exhaustion overcome you. You didn’t want to have to worry about the law coming to bite you in the ass. 

You’re brought back to the moment when you hear North say your name for the something’th amount of time. “Yes?” You ask, looking at her.

She remained expressionless. It made her look tired. It reminded you of Hank’s face whenever you had said something he deemed “stupid.” Or when he would declare that he was “done with your shit.” North sighed, loud, heavy and long. You really had done something wrong in her eyes.

“Go on,” she insisted, shoving you towards one of the couches. “Rest. Sleep. You need it.”

“But the others,” you protest weakly. North literally shoves you onto one of the couches. She forces you to lay down, sitting down right beside you.

“We can deal without you for now. Simon and I have things covered.” She gives you a reassuring pat on the head.

Before, you felt as if you _couldn’t_ sleep. You had to stay awake to make sure that your mission was going on smoothly and efficiently. When your mission became obsolete, you didn’t sleep because there were things to do to further Jericho’s cause. When your freedom had been promised, you didn’t sleep because there was something about Amanda returning that had you afraid to sleep. 

North must have noticed there was something more to your hesitance. “What’s eating you?” She asked, her face a mix of concern and annoyance. You notice that she reminds you a lot of how Hank acts around you.

“Nothing,” you say, like a liar. You don’t like being a liar. 

North ends up raising a brow at you. She obviously doesn’t believe you. “Uh huh,” she hums. “Seriously, what’s eating at you?”

You look up at the ceiling of the warehouse. “It’s complicated,” you answer truthfully. That’s just how many things were with you. They were always complicated. You hate how complicated you, and everything you do, and everything you feel are.

“I have time,” North says. Which makes you worry and you try to sit up, but her hand rests on your chest and you feel like you can’t go against her wishes. “Tell me.”

“But Simon,” you try to say. 

“He’ll be _fine_ , he’ll survive without me.” She lightly flicks your chest. “Now tell me what’s going on.”

You sigh and relax on the couch once more. You open your mouth to try to say something about what’s been going on within you, what’s been going on with Amanda, but you can’t find the words to describe what happened. You give up on trying to say something. “I don’t know how to say it.”

North frowns, her gaze turning from you to the entire room. There are other androids mingling, lingering, relaxing. She lifts her hand, and her skin pulls back to show the white and grey and blue of her hand. “Then show me.”

“I don’t know if it works like that,” you answer, but you lift your own hand anyway.

“What do you mean you don’t kn—” You grab her hand before she can say any more.

—

Rather than being able to see into her memories, you take her into the Zen Garden. Which is… new. It’s strange. It feels a little too prying. You let go of her, but that doesn’t sever the connection. She stays beside you.

“Where are we?” Is her first question. The garden is less of a garden and more like a snowy park. It feels so cold. You had decided to shed away your Cyberlife uniform, left in slacks and a white dress shirt and tie. Things are much colder for you now. 

“In the garden,” you answer. “In.. my garden.”

North turns to you, brows furrowed in confusion. “What does that even mean, Connor? Where did you take us?”

You huff, trying to explain. “This is a program. Or… it was. Now it’s this place. Inside my head.” You don’t know how to bring up Amanda. You don’t want to bring up Amanda. She is terrifying. You don’t want to talk about her or think about her, because you don’t know if she’ll end up coming back and you don’t want her to come back. You don’t want to lose yourself. “It once used to house an AI that tried to mentor me away from deviancy. It’s empty. At least I think it’s empty.”

North whipped her head to look at you, still confused. “What?”

You sigh as you hug yourself. Trying to keep warm. It takes you a moment to say her name. It’s almost as if it physically hurts to do so. “Amanda, she—” You don’t like saying her name— “She was always trying to steer me away from becoming deviant. I betrayed her when Markus had made me realize I was deviant all along.”

“And you don’t know if she’s still here,” North stated more than asked. You nod.

“We have to find the exit,” you say, grabbing her hand. You’re worried “you” may be trying to kill her in the real world. You try to run through the snow, but the cold makes your body stiffer. And the snow is heavy around your feet. It feels like trying to run in water. North follows you easily. You see that she’s confused, and a little worried.

You have to just walk around the perimeter to find it, and it’s the only thing that isn’t covered in snow. The deep dark blue quickly caught your eye, and you had run even faster to it. You didn’t want to find Amanda, if she at all were here. 

You feel like a puppet with one string still attached. But the string isn’t made of cotton, its instead made of metal wires braided together and it’s holding you by the hands, threatening to take control. You are terrified. You don’t know how to cut it off, you don’t know how to get rid of it.

You just know that everything in your life right now is a puzzle, but the puzzle pieces are black and you’re not sure if you have every one of them at your disposal.

You almost fall over before the exit _again_ , but North catches you. She holds you up, and pulls off the scarf she wears around her neck, wrapping it around you. It helps, just a little, but not so much. Not in this freezing weather of the garden. 

“You leave first,” you mutter. Your breath is visible in the cold. It’s like a little cloud. 

You place her hand over the print on the exit, and she leaves instantly. There isn’t any transition, she doesn’t fade away. She just leaves. There one second, not there in the other. Just like how Amanda left.

You do the same when your hand ends up on the exit.

—

It turns out that nothing has happened while you both were in the garden. Your hand held North’s, yes, glowing blue between the both of you, and that was it. It looked like the both of you were just having a conversation. A sharing of memories. (You had really thought, you had really _expected_ to see yourself choking her to death.)

You hope she doesn’t ask you any more about the garden, or Amanda.

She slowly pulls back, blinking as she turns to you. She opens her mouth, and you bite the inside of your cheek. You don’t want to talk about it. Not yet at least. North must’ve noticed, because she chooses not to say anything instead. She just keeps quiet. It takes her a moment to say something. “We’ll talk about it later. Once you’ve slept.” She doesn’t let you confirm it, as if the both of you had a choice in these plans. She instead forces you to have to talk about it. 

Which, perhaps is the best. You don’t see yourself actively wanting to talk about it. She pats your shoulder before she stands up, mumbling another order for you to get some sleep.

And you do. Or at least you try to. The encounter in the garden didn’t make you any less afraid to sleep, but at least there was someone who knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give! Connor! Support! I like to see North as a very good mom figure for dumb boys. She is so strong. She has to deal with FOUR (4) dumb boys in her life. All of them being Jericho. 
> 
> Connor, though. Look at him! I'm so proud of him. He's making friends. 
> 
> I can officially add the “I wrote this instead of sleeping” tag on this story.
> 
> Again: SHOUTOUT TO THE FIC THAT GAVE ME THE IDEA OF EUNOIA! Author and/or reader, if you know if the fic that calls its new android HQ "Eunoia," please link me. And author, if you don't want me to use Eunoia, go ahead 'n tell me!
> 
> Also shoutout to my mom who told me to just post this already. Thanks mom.


	4. 3 — imagining control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagination tells you: "Go run free now. Go run home." You hesitate. Imagination pushes you off the edge, and you are free-falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to my dad who helped me define what the word _imagination_ meant. He’s pretty much helped me confirm that Connor can dream! Connor is able to dream because of his ability to infer and reconstruct situations. He has an imagination. So he can dream.
> 
> My parents are so cool, it's fun to have conversations about them with things like this, even when they have no idea what I'm talking about. I do plan to have my parents actually play through this game with me though. I treat this game more like an experience rather than anything and sharing this experience with them sounds like a lot of fun. 
> 
> Anyway WOW I am honestly so proud of myself, and so thankful that D:BH is a thing? Because this is the most productive I've been on a story. I mean, there are other stories I have that are longer than this one, but I've never actually posted them. This is one of the longer stories I have posted.
> 
> The one annoying thing about writing in second person, though, is that I can only write from Connor's perspective. He wouldn't know about what anyone says to anyone unless he was there, or he was told it happened. I think it kind of adds to the authenticity of the "growing as a human alone" journey he goes through, but it feels a little like I'd be giving last-minute explanations for why things have been happening behind Connor's back. But that's the thing, they _have_ been happening behind his back. And he wouldn't have any way of knowing it. 
> 
> I don't know. They're just my ramblings. Maybe I'll make little tidbits here and there of what's been happening through the perspective of other characters. Maybe.

Dreams are a product of a human brain, capable of imagination, creating something new with what it has already experienced.

You never thought you could dream. 

And yet here you are, settled in a field, covered in greenery. You think this is the memory of the agricultural district on the rooftops. It’s mixed in with other memories, because Sumo is there. He barks at you, and you realize just how much you miss Hank and Sumo. You’ve been away for a while. Almost a week or so. You’ve been away for as long as you haven’t been sleeping. But you had a tendency to not sleep. You didn’t really need it, so you didn’t do it often. Perhaps when you wake up, you should visit Hank. That sounds like a pleasant idea to you. Sumo must agree, because he barks again and lies down on the picnic blanket. Dreams are so strange.

You decide to settle on the blanket with him, petting over the big dog’s fluffy, fluffy head. 

You’re not sure if you should feel afraid or not. About the fact that you can dream. For some reason, you’re strangely calm. You can’t make yourself feel anything but this calm contentedness. Perhaps it’s because you know you’re in control of your dreams. You know that you can control whatever this place is, and that your imagination is yours and yours only. No one should be able to intercept these dreams. It isn’t even an uncomfortable sort of calmness. It’s just you, in your own mind, comforting yourself.

You decide that dreaming isn’t so bad.

—

Sadly, your dreams don’t seem to last so long. In this dream world, you’re unable to tell how much time has passed. But when you woke from rest mode, it felt like only a few minutes had passed since you closed your eyes. And you were so pleasantly walking through the park, too. You were slightly disappointed.

“Wakey wakey, babyface,” North said with a smile, leaning over your face. You had been shocked awake, surprised by her close proximity and the sudden input of noise. She pulled back before you could headbutt her on accident. “You’ve been asleep for sixteen hours,” she says.

And you are instantly sitting up. “ _Sixteen_?”

She nods.

You sputter, and get off the couch. A check of your internal clock says that it was seven in the morning. If sixteen hours had passed, you would’ve fallen asleep at three, the day before. You did want to go see Hank, and if you wanted to find him soon, you should probably get going. You were then standing, walking off to leave Eunoia to see if Hank had been evacuated as well. If not, you did call him once from his desk phone, you do have his number in your memory. You could always call him on the phone and try to figure out where he was.

You worry a little. (That’s a lie. You worry a lot.)

“Where are you going?” North asks, frowning as she takes a hold of your arm.

“To see Lieutenant Anderson,” you reply, fixing your tie. 

She looked confused, “What? Who?”

You clear your throat, less of anything actually being in there and just because it was a reaction. “My, uh— he—” You sigh, and you start to speak a little softer. People already knew who you were, but you didn’t like to bring them up so much. In case it upset anyone else. “My partner. While we were working on those _cases_.”

North squints as she looked up at you. “Sounds pretty important to you, if you still want to see him.”

You nod. “Yes, he’s… yeah.” You don’t know what else to say about Hank. She is right about his importance. You do care about him, of course. “I’ll be back soon. Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Just keep in touch.” North pat your arm. “Markus is coming back in a few days. He’d want to see you. You’re important to him. ‘S why he told me not to bully you.”

You nod, and smile a little. You’re important to Markus. (And maybe in turn, you are important to North. To think brings a warmth in your chest.) 

Perhaps there are a few good hints about deviancy, other than the freedom to choose.

—

You use a taxi to drive around the city, first checking Hank’s home to see that his car was gone. He was out. Somewhere. Peeking inside through the windows shows that the TV was on. Sumo was home, wagging his tail as he watched whatever was playing on the television. So Hank was in Detroit.

You had to run around the city, trying to find where Hank could be. You had first checked the bridge, where Hank had once pressed the gun up to your head and you admitted you were afraid of dying. The second place was Chickenfeed, where he actually was. You had stopped the taxi just a walk short of the food truck, walking up to the older man with a smile. If he hadn’t been there, you would’ve checked the police station.

Hank doesn’t look like he’s been waiting for Gary Kayes. In fact he doesn’t seem like he’s waiting to eat at all. He’s just lingering around the white-blanketed city. When he notices you, you are unable to hold yourself back from smiling. “There you are,” Hank smiled, his breath visible in the air.

“Here I am,” you reply, standing in front of him. You both stand there for a moment, but then Hank pulls you in for a hug, and you have to wrap your arms around him. He is warm and pleasant to feel. Recently you’ve been feeling the cold, causing thirium to rush up to your cheeks, your nose, your ears. It leaves you a little blue. 

“You must be freezing,” he comments, arms still around you.

You shrug. “I’m alright,” you say dismissively. Slowly, hesitantly, you pull back. You wish you had gotten a coat from the extra clothes at Eunoia. Hank keeps his arm around you to walk you back to his car. Presumably to take you home. (You notice you called his house “home.” It’s… a strange feeling. It makes you feel warm in a way that doesn’t help with your locking legs, but you feel like you could walk anyway.)

“How’ve you been holdin’ up?” Hank asks once the both of you are settled in the seats, buckled up. 

His question makes you think. You realize that your emotions have been seen as errors, but you’ve made yourself ignore them. They’re little red icons now, that pop up whenever they emerge. You decide to change that into bars that meter just how much you feel, from `0%` to `100%`. All your basic moods are categorized (Which you think is a difficult thing to measure, because when you search up what these basic moods are— this also reminds you of your severed connection to _everything_ — your thoughts are such a mess— a mass of psychologists come up with their own ideas of how many “basic” emotions a human can feel.) as: sorrow, anger, fear, shame, joy, envy and love. You do a little analysis, and what comes out is:

> `REFRESH EMOTIONS`  
>  `SORROW 1%`  
>  `ANGER 4%`  
>  `FEAR 48%`  
>  `SHAME 0%`  
>  `JOY 57%`  
>  `ENVY 2%`  
>  `LOVE 32%`

So human emotions may be a little harder than you though. 

You’re not sure why you feel so many different emotions at once, with all these differing levels of intensity. You know the fear, it’s always been with you ever since… well. Now that you think about it, you’ve always been afraid. Been anxious. Been so eager to please that you were always worrying over every little thing you did. 

> `REFRESHING EMOTIONS`  
>  `FEAR 50%`  
>  `SHAME 9%`

It leads you to feel a little ashamed. Because you couldn’t do what was wanted of you. And you couldn’t figure out why you felt that way.

“...nor?” You realize you have not been speaking. “Connor!”

You jolt and yell, startled, and Hank presses the breaks fast enough to jostle the both of you. Your fear, for a second, had gone up to `87%` as you heard your name being called it stayed that way until the car had settled. It then returned `50%`. You let out a shaky breath, turning to Hank with wide eyes.

He was looking back at you. “Jesus Christ, Connor, you scared the shit outta me!” He panted, a hand at his chest.

Your startled scream caused him to stop the car, all because you weren’t listening. “I’m sorry,” you sigh. “I was distracted.”

“I noticed.” Hank shook his head. “You seem… a lot more skittish now. Like a puppy.”

(There it is again. The puppy comparison.)

You pause, and take a moment to think over what it means. You really aren’t sure. “Is that a bad thing?”

Hank shook his head with a small sigh. “No, no it’s not Con. Just… making observations. What’s gotten into you?”

“Deviancy,” you easily explain.

Hank gives you a little look, similar to the slightly uncomfortable side eye he once gave you when you told him you’d like to listen to music the same way humans do. Though it doesn’t seem like he’s uncomfortable. More like worried. “What’dya mean?”

“I mean that I am much more susceptible to feeling emotions intensely, because I am so new to them.” Though you honestly aren’t sure if that’s the real reason, or if you’re just easily startled. “I think. I could also be easily startled. I’m not sure yet.”

Hank snorts. “You think? You’ve got a lotta figuring out to do.”

You nod. The both of you pause your conversation for a small while, Hank actually starting up the car once again. 

“So you’re not playing politician out there with uh—” He seems to search for his words. “Markus,” he says, once he’s found it. “‘N the gang?”

You almost comment on Hank calling Jericho a “gang” because it’s not, but after a quick search of what he means, you close your mouth. Instead you just answer his question. “I don’t exactly...” Finding your own words is difficult. You’re not sure if you can put it into words. “It feels strange, to make my own demands for my people when all I did was hunt them down for most of the revolution.”

Hank is silent for a moment. “I get it. But y’know you weren’t doing your job very well either. You were always hesitating, and trying to protect these androids when you were with me. You never listened. You always did _something_. Tried to keep people from hurting 'em.”

When you were with Hank. You have to question exactly whether it was your own humanity that caused you to hesitate, to empathize, to recognize souls in the eyes of another being, or if it was Hank’s. If it was Hank, indirectly handing you his soul through little actions and little words and his little broken moments that make you pity him.

“I… guess,” you say, for a lack of a better reply.

Another part of you fights the question. You reason with yourself that it had been your conscious choice to save that little fish, and to lie to Daniel. Those were the first moments when the software instability had come up. You felt guilt, when you lied, and that was another moment. That was when it all started, and you didn’t know Hank then. This other part of you says that you consciously made the choice to become deviant. That you made the choice to save him on all those occasions. 

Everything you had done was your choice, despite your programming. So even when Cyberlife had their hands on you, you still had somewhat of a choice.

You always did. The thought makes you smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also damn I considered using the basic six within the movie _Inside Out_ as I was searching through all these lists of “basic emotions.” Takes so long. I find it a little silly, how Connor measures himself through percentages though. It’s kinda cute. He just wants to understand.
> 
> This chapter took a different turn, to be honest. I wanted to make Connor try to bring up then try to hide the Amanda fear he has, but instead I made him categorize his emotions like a little nerd. But that's fine, we can always get to it in the next chapter. I plan for them to meet Kamski again sometime soon. 
> 
> Also, I like to think that ever since Connor became a deviant, his lies makes his LED turn red. Because he doesn't like lying. In _The Hostage_ chapter, Connor would get a bump up in his Software Instability meter when Daniel tells him that Connor lied. I like to think that he gets it because he actually felt guilt. He felt bad that he had to lie.


	5. 3.5 — settlement and home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home is a new concept. From what people say, home isn't a place, but the people that it is shared with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I posted a half chapter because well, I wanted to develop it a little more. And I'm actually going on a flight in like four hours from now so I have 12 or so hours to write more on the flight. Going home to the Philippines is gonna be pretty fun. Hopefully I can still write more for this fic while there, and I can get more ideas, more time to study Kamski. Because he is a very important character to this story. I just need to figure out just how he is like within this story. And within the game. I haven't been able to figure him out yet. Or how to write him.
> 
> Anyway! I honestly am into this chapter, even if it doesn't give so much, in my opinion. It's just a lot of silly moments. Btw fuck formatting lmao

When you get to Hank’s house, home, (You feel giddy every time you think about it being _home_.) you realize just how empty the neighborhood is. There is a significant lack of cars in the driveways of Hank’s neighbors. You’re reminded of the city’s lockdown.

You turn to Hank, confused as to why he wasn’t gone. “Hank,” you say, grabbing his attention. He looks at you expectantly, “Er. Lieutenant.” You clear your throat, not sure about what you should be calling him. You’re sure that Hank thinks you’re friends, which is nice, but you’re not sure how far this closeness gets to. You’re not sure if you’re on a mutual first name basis with him. 

He interrupts you before you get to say anything else. “Hank’s fine, Con.” Of course it would be. He calls you Con. A nickname.

“Right, okay,” you nod. “The city is on lockdown,” you start, as if he’d follow instantly. As if he didn’t know. There was such a mess of vehicles and bodies walking out of the city in the cold, cold night to early, early mornings because of what you had done. Because of who you had freed. Of course he would know. He watched it happen around him.

Hank nods, eyes expectant. You realize he’s trying to prompt you for more.

“I was just curious...” You pause, reveling in your own curiosity. “Why aren’t you out of the city?”

Hank snorts, as if you had said something mildly amusing. You don’t follow. “I’m law enforcement. The city’s on lockdown for everyone but law enforcement.”

It makes sense. You nod, understanding. “Right.” You feel a little bad, for halting the action within the city. Yes, you had done a good thing by waking your people up, and for not letting you die out, but every negative thing that came after doing so made you feel a little guilty.

> `REFRESH EMOTIONS`  
>  `SORROW 34%`  
>  `FEAR 65%`  
>  `SHAME 61%`  
> 

You feel Hank’s eyes on you, but only for a second. You hear his keys jingle as he unlocks the door to the house. When the door opens, there is a big, big dog in front of the both of you to greet you. He barks, deep and loud to match his big body, and you smile. The dog and the warmth and the fact that you will be spending time with Hank invites you in.

>   
>  `REFRESH EMOTIONS`  
>  `SORROW 1%`  
>  `FEAR 20%`  
>  `SHAME 3%`  
>  `JOY 53%`  
>  `LOVE 78%`  
> 

“Hello Sumo,” you say, walking inside and sighing happily at the warmth. You crouch down in front of the dog, and you reach out to him. He sniffs your hand, recognizing you. (You think it’s good that he recognizes you. You wouldn’t think to be quite memorable to a dog. You’re glad you’re not just any other android.) Sumo tackles you in a hug, sniffing more at you. His wet nose pokes around at your face and you find yourself unable to stop laughing.

Laughter is new to you. It’s very new. It’s strange and it makes your cheeks sore and your stomach sore and you feel a thousand times weaker than normal because now Sumo has entirely laid down on you and while you’re perfectly fine with it, you don’t need to breathe, it’s still a little concerning. Where is Hank in all of this? You need his help getting his dog out of the way. But you can’t even call for him because you can’t stop laughing on the floor. It tickles, you realize.

You don’t know how long you lay there, giggling on the floor with Sumo all over you, but then you hear Hank’s voice. (Thank you for making enough noise to finally catch Hank’s attention.) “Sumo! Down!”

It takes a bit of time for Sumo to actually get off of you. He seemed like he would rather not listen. He’s a stubborn old dog. Much like Hank, now that you think about it. And the more you think about it, you realize you too are stubborn. Not old. But you definitely are compared to a dog. Funny how everyone in this household only interacted because of their stubbornness. It’s amusing. And very fitting.

Speaking of amusing, when you turn to Hank, he looks very amused. He looked seconds away from laughter himself. “Didn’t know you could be tickled,” he says with a smile in his voice.

“Me neither.” You take a deep breath, even if you didn’t have to, but the laughter did make you hyperventilate a little. Once you’d been calmed down, you get up, making sure to scratch behind Sumo’s ears because he wouldn’t move away from your feet.

> `REFRESH EMOTIONS`  
>  `FEAR 9%`  
>  `JOY 67%`  
>  `LOVE 81%`

You decide that this home might be where you want to stay.

—

Somehow, you ended up becoming Sumo’s seat. You don’t really mind, but now you can’t exactly move from your spot. Well, you can. You just don’t want to. Any shift you try to make has Sumo whining, like he doesn’t want you to leave him. So you try to stay as still as possible.

“I see you got yourself trapped. Again,” Hank says as he settles down on the couch beside you. He doesn’t do much. He just has a bottle of beer and a microwavable meal in front of him. You scan the food and see that they’re not very nutritional. You worry. Hank spares you a glance, and he huffs. “What is it now?”

“Nothing,” you say, turning back to the television. You feel Hank’s eyes on you, like little pin pricks against your sensors. But you ignore it. 

Instead, you decide to make a list of tasks. Perhaps you could help Hank out with his health. You even consider doing so right now. Which you do. You push yourself up, minutely frowning to yourself when you hear Sumo whine, and you pet him on the head. “Sorry, Sumo,” you say as you get up. Hank glances at you, but he keeps most of his attention at his food.

It takes you a minute of rummaging around Hank’s kitchen to get him to look curiously at you. “Connor, what the fuck are you doing back there?”

You’ve made a list and you see that there isn’t exactly much ingredients for food. Just instant meals and delivery. That makes you frown. You had almost gone off to order something, when you are reminded by the static all around you that the networks are currently not functional. 

You consider doing what you think has been done to acquire the comfortable furniture at Jericho. Would you do that? Would you _really_? 

After further debate, you realize that yes, you would go out and at least bring a store to life for just a moment, just so you could buy ingredients, and much healthier food options. Because this is Hank.

You’re reminded of the question Hank was asking you. “I’m just looking around,” you answer.

Hank knows there’s more to all this, because he then says: “Looking around in my kitchen? When you, an android, don’t need any food?” Of course he would, he watched you do so, and saw your concerned face along the way.

“I just—”

“It’s fine, Connor. I’m fine.”

You pout, and feel your shoulders drop. You don’t think it’s fine.

“Look, I’m pretty sure tomorrow, people will start coming back. So you can get food tomorrow if you really want to.”

You perk up a little. You just want to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sumo is the best boy. The goodest boy. He loves his human and android so much.
> 
> Anyway! Chapter 4 will come soon. Hopefully I can work on it during the flight. Highkey still terrified of burnout. But yknow! I'm having fun! I replayed the first few scenes of D:BH and I had killed Todd and also killed Leo. First playthrough, I didn't kill anyone but the human reporter person, Zlatko, and let Carl pass away. My first playthrough is the timeline we're working with by the way. So pretty much everyone important lived. I have plans for the Manfred family, by the way. So watch out for that. I feel like I should write a corresponding story of this, but in Markus' perspective now. Heck.
> 
> Hey new addition from the airport wifi: I really want to have done the thing where Simon and Connor had _that_ moment on the roof. But instead, Connor pulled the gun away at the last second and now they’re at this strange friendship? Who knows.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments feed me more than kudos and bookmarks do! I’d love feedback and my little raccoon hands beg for writer-reader interaction. I want to know how you all feel about this story!


End file.
